In a moment
by JoJo1
Summary: When Scott's past comes back to haunt him, who's there for him?
1. Chapter 1

Category/Pairing: Scott/Rogue, Scott/Other, Scott/Jean, yeah Scott's a little slut....  
Disclaimer: If I owned them, do you really think I would have ended the movie the way it ended?  
Archive: WRFA, XMFFC, Mutual Admiration, others please ask.  
Feedback: It's better than heroin.  
Story notes: SCOTT POV. J/S (ew) then Scott/Rogue. None of the characters are ours. Not even Joanne, she's a real person.  
  
This story was first written by Autumn, a dear friend of mine and the first three chapters are hers only. After that  
she let me take over this little story and is also being a kick-ass beta-reader of it too. I hope I do her story  
justice and everything that might be somewhat off when it comes to spelling, grammar and flow of the story is due  
to me not listening to her.  
-------------------  
I often wonder when it is that Rogue took the place of Jean  
in my life. Was it when she first arrived here? After we saved her  
from Magneto? When Jean and I grew apart and Rogue helped me get  
over her? I don't really know, but it probably has something to do  
with Joanne. Thanks to her I have a beautiful brown haired woman in  
my arms, and I finally feel complete. Perhaps I should begin at the  
beginning though.......  
  
"Scott, you can't seriously expect me to accept this can you?" Jean  
asked me in an incredulous tone.  
  
"Listen Jean, you're part of my life and so is Joanne. That's just  
the way it is, and I know it's a lot to deal with, right now but-"  
  
"But nothing Scott. How can you expect me to deal with a child you  
had with another woman?" Jean finished.  
  
"It was 10 years ago Jean. I just learned about it last week. Her  
mother was killed in an airplane crash and I'm the only living  
relative she has left." I finished off.  
  
Instead of answering me Jean simply huffed and stormed out of the  
room. I felt the on coming headache that always chases an argument  
with Jean. I grabbed the bridge of my nose and sank down on the bed  
in defeat. That was the first time I contemplated what a life  
without Jean would be like.  
  
I mean I go over the wretched thought whenever we go out on a  
mission, but this was the first time I'd actually considered breaking  
up with Jean. I'd always wanted to have kids, which she knows, and  
now that I do have one and Jean isn't the mother, things are suddenly  
different between us.  
  
I really can understand her problems with it. I mean my  
daughter Joanne, still seems surreal saying that is already nine  
years old. Most likely she'll lash out at any woman she feels is  
trying to take the place of her mother. I can understand Jean's fear  
of rejections, even if she won't talk to me about it. What I can't  
understand is Jean's total lack of support. I think after Joanne  
arrives I'll find myself facing the age-old question of what's more  
important, lover or family? 


	2. Chapter 2

In a moment it could happen  
We could wake up and be laughing.  
In a moment it could happen,  
We could forgive and be happy.  
-Collective Soul  
  
My daughter Joanne arrived at the mansion on a cold, windy  
October day. She had only a suitcase clutched in her left hand and a  
backpack slung over her small shoulders. The first thing that struck  
me was the physical resemblance between us. She had the same dark  
brown hair as me. And for the first time in years, I could see the  
color of my eyes in something besides my memories. Joanne's were the  
same shade of baby blue I remembered as being mine. Those eyes also  
expressed a volatile mixture of emotions that surprised me in their  
intensity. Rage, pain, fear, and sadness all collided together to  
form an expression that was far too old to be natural for a girl her  
age. It sort of reminded me of Rogue's eyes for the first few weeks  
after Magneto nearly killed her. Instead of mulling that thought  
over, I bent down to lift the suitcase from her tiny fist, marveling  
in wonderment at the smaller female image of myself. As we walked  
through the main corridor and up to the living quarters, I felt it  
was time to break the ice. But what do you say to someone of your  
flesh and blood that you've never even seen a picture of?  
  
"Joanne, I'm Scott Summers. Your father. But you can call  
me whatever you want. I'm sorry we met under such terrible  
circumstances. Your mother was a wonderful person."  
  
"You didn't care about her in life, so don' t you DARE act  
like ya do now Scott!" the little firecracker exploded.  
  
I watched helplessly as she stalked down the hallway. Just  
then Rogue strode out of the nursery and Joanne ran smack into her.  
Rogue had learned to control her mutation six months after she began  
living here, but even now she's a little jumpy with accidental bumps  
against other people.  
  
"Oh, hi there. Sorry about that. I guess now you can guess  
my name ain't Grace!" Rogue explained.  
  
Joanne smiled then, and I knew Rogue had another instant  
fan. Kids flock to her. One look from her is all it takes and  
they're instantly devoted. It's kind of like the men around here.  
Most of them are as taken with her as the kids are. I'm certainly  
no exception.  
  
It pisses Jean off something fierce. I used to think it was  
because she was jealous of Rogue ever since she'd usurped Jean's  
position as the number one object of lust around the mansion. I now  
believe that she just doesn't like her. She once called her  
a "little southern hussy." That had been right after I, the  
disciplinarian of the mansion had let it slide after I caught the  
kids drinking. That was the only time I never punished the kids, it  
was also the only time I caught Rogue.  
  
"Scott?" "Scott?" "Scott?" Someone was calling me.  
"Hmm?" I answered still distracted.  
" You wandered off there for a minute, I was just trying to  
get ya back to reality." Rogue smirked.  
  
I turned my attention back to the present. Joanne was  
clinging to Rogue, and looked both scared and relieved. It hit me  
then that Rogue would make some lucky kid an excellent mother  
someday. I must have contemplated that thought too long, because  
Rogue interrupted my thought train again.  
  
"Scott? You're acting weird. Why don't you take your  
daughter around the grounds here? I'm sure she'd love to see them."  
And then turning to Joanne "Right sweetie?"  
  
Joanne nodded her head enthusiastically, and I knew then I'd  
do anything possible to be able to be the one to put that look on her  
face.  
  
"Sure. Rogue would you like to come with us?" I casually  
asked.  
  
"Pleaseeeeeeee?" Joanne begged, wringing her little hands  
together in a pleading motion.  
  
Rogue just laughed and strode towards me with Joanne still  
clinging to her side. Joanne reached out and grabbed onto my right  
hand while still holding onto Rogue's left one. We walked around the  
entire school grounds like that. Just the three of us. None of us  
saw Jean by the door to the lab. Otherwise we would have seen the  
hurt expression on her face and would have been more prepared for  
what was to come. 


	3. Chapter 3

We came back from the grounds in good spirits. Joanne and I  
had actually begun to build a relationship. She was still really  
upset about her mother's passing, so I related the tale of my own  
parent's death to her. Rogue comforted both of us.  
  
We parted ways with Rogue, and Joanne let go of me long  
enough to throw her arms around the woman's neck. The first thought  
to cross my mind was that Rogue would be a good mother for Joanne. I  
caught myself before I thought anything more. After all I was  
involved with Jean, not Rogue. After hugging the life out of Rogue,  
Joanne came back to me and I took her to meet Jean. Given the  
argument we had the previous night, I had no idea what to expect from  
Jean.  
  
As we arrived at out suite, Jean threw open the door with a  
big smile on her face.  
  
"Hi sweetheart! I've so been looking forward to meeting  
you!" Jean gushed and pulled Joanne into a hug.  
  
"Joanne, this is Jean." I introduced them lamely.  
  
"Er, uh hi Jean. Nice to meet you?" my daughter ground out.  
  
"Scott, can I see my room? I wanna take a nap, I'm kinda tired."  
  
"Sure, just follow me." I led Joanne to the second door on  
the left of the suite.  
  
"The bathroom is right over there," I said as I pointed to  
the door across the hall from her, "Jean and I are in that room over  
there" I said pointing to the third door on the left.  
  
Joanne nodded and opened the door. She started settling in,  
and I quietly left to return to Jean and find out where her odd  
behavior was coming from.  
  
"What was that back there?" I said, getting right to the  
point.  
  
"What, I'm not allowed to be nice?" she asked defensively.  
  
"No, it'd just that yesterday you were less than thrilled to  
hear about Joanne coming here, and today you're like Carol Brady."  
  
"Oh, I get it, only Rogue is allowed to get close to her.  
Figures." Jean spat out.  
  
"Okay, this is about Joanne, NOT Rogue, leave her out of  
it." I was really starting to get angry with Jean's weird behavior.  
  
"No, Scott. I am sick and tired of that little bitch ruining  
everything between us."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about Jean?"  
  
"Oh don't act like you don't know. Ever since Logan left,  
you've been all buddy, buddy with her. You never do anything with me  
anymore. You barely even sleep with me. Now that I think about it,  
that's probably because you're too busy fucking Rogue."  
  
I was pissed. Jean knew that I considered cheating the worst  
possible thing you could do to somebody you loved. She was  
intentionally trying to get a rise out of me, and for the life of me  
I still didn't know why. Rather than fight with her and risk Joanne  
hearing, I chose to leave the room.  
  
  
  
I went down to the kitchen and found Rogue in a nightgown  
nursing a beer. It was of course a Molson. One of the things she'd  
inherited from Logan was a taste for alcohol. Though she was still  
underage, I let it slide. After all, she had a 60 year old, and a  
man older than God in her head. Averaged out, she was definitely old  
enough to drink.  
  
"Hey Rogue, hand me one of those will ya?"  
  
"Fight with Jean?" she asked in that sweet voice of hers.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Wanna talk about it?" she asked again.  
  
Had it been anyone else I would have declined the offer. But  
this was Rogue; there was something about her that made it easy to  
talk. Someday, she'll make a wonderful girlfriend for some lucky,  
lucky man.  
  
"Alright, Jean didn't want Joanne to come here. She doesn't feel  
comfortable with the whole "instant motherhood thing."  
  
Rogue squeezed my arm, and gestured for me to continue.  
"Then I guess she saw us today or something, because when  
Joanne and I came back, she got into this whole thing about well,  
you."  
  
She drew back immediately. I knew she was aware that Jean  
didn't like her, but Rogue still hated to upset anyone.  
  
"Look Rogue, it's not your fault. It's Jean okay. She has  
some jealousy issues or something. This has been broiling for  
awhile. It is not your fault. Okay?"  
  
"Scott, Jean has never liked me. I'm just sorry she's  
trying to use our friendship against you."  
  
"It's alright. Anyway, thanks for listening. I gotta get  
back and check on Joanne." I bent down to kiss her on the head, and  
walked back to my room.  
  
  
As I passed through the hallway I heard my daughter "Scott?"  
  
I entered her room. "Yeah Joanne? Did you want something  
honey?"  
  
"Why are you with Jean, and not Rogue?" She asked me  
innocently, "She's a lot nicer." She added.  
  
I answered her honestly, "I don't know."  
  
I slipped out of the room and set out to seek the answer to  
that very good question 


	4. Chapter 4

When I came back to our bedroom I found it deserted, no Jean in sight which  
relieved me to no end. I had no real wish to have a repeat performance of the  
earlier fight. I'm sure it will come soon enough even if I can't figure out where  
this jealousy comes from. Towards Joanne, yes. She came as a shock to both of us, but  
towards Rogue?  
  
It's not like I've tried to win Rogue's heart or anything. We've never been anything but  
good friends like I've been to Ororo, Betsy, Madelyne or any of the other women that are  
living here. So why has she singled out Rogue to be the jealous of? I could understand it  
if I had shown a romantic interest towards Rogue but I haven't. Or have I?  
  
Shit. Maybe I have without realising it myself. I've always thought that Rogue will make some  
guy very lucky one day but I never pictured myself being that guy. And maybe I wouldn't have  
thought of it if it hadn't been for Joanne or Jean's reaction towards her. I know Jean's not  
really fond of children, never have been.  
  
Now that I think about it, I'm not all that sure whatever made me attracted to Jean in the first  
place. Our different views on children is only one thing where we look at things from opposites  
sides. She just takes things way too seriously, all the time. It's just work, work, work. If she's  
not in the lab she's at some conference or the other or working as the spokeswoman for the mutant  
cause in senate hearings. When there's none of that it's X-men buisness or teaching. I realise all  
of that are important things and not only for her but I for one think you really do need to live too.  
Not only work. I can't honestly remember the last time she did something just for fun or for her own  
sake. Or when we did something together, just the two of us. It was a long time since there was some  
romance in our relationship. And God knows I've tried but she's always too busy to even go out for a  
simple dinner for two. The only thing she does for fun is to flirt. I know she wouldn't go all the way  
and sleep with someone but me but why must she be such a tease? It's killing me when she can't avoid to  
flirt with Remy, Warren or Logan when he was still around.  
  
Opposites attract? Maybe, but I don't think that's a serious foundation to build a lasting relationship upon.  
It would soon crumble down and I'm not surprised that Jean and I are starting to grow apart, I'm only surprised  
that we lasted this long.  
  
She's so different from Joanne's mother in just about every way that matters. Looks, manners, the  
look on life, behaviour. Everything really.  
  
Abigail was her name but she refused to be called that. It was Abby or nothing which I found really cute.  
The first love of my life and at the time I thought she would be the future Mrs Summers. Just an infatuation  
or a crush? Not at all. My grandparents, who I was living with since my parents died, certainly thought so  
and I'm sure my brother thought so too. None of them said it out loud but I'm not blind. Not now  
behind these glasses and not back then without them either. I know what they thought of it but they were wrong,  
very wrong. The two years we had together were the best years of my life and it almost literally tore me apart when  
it ended.  
  
I wanted to hate her for it but I just couldn't and if it had been she that  
had her mutant powers to manifest instead of me, who knows if it hadn't been  
me that got scared shitless and ran? I certainly don't know. All I know about  
that is that I got my power late in life, several years later than what is  
usual actually. We were out dancing, celebrating her 19th birthday when it  
happened. Some birthday that turned out to be. I had had a terrible headache for  
several weeks at that point and that evening all hell broke loose. I can't say  
I can blame her for running. Hell, I wanted to run! It's kinda hard to run away  
from yourself though and if it hadn't been that Charles were already on the look-out  
for mutants I don't know if I still would be alive. I probably wouldn't be. I  
almost starved to death during the months I was blind. Anyway, that night was the  
last time I saw her or heard of her until her death.  
  
A part of me still love her though and I guess I always will. Joanne's wrong  
about me not caring about her mother while she was still alive, I very much did but  
I had absolutely no idea of where she was or if she wanted anything to do with me  
anymore but how do you tell that to a nine-year old that just lost the only  
parent she ever knew?  
  
Anyway, I'm glad that Joanne got her looks more from me than from Abby. It would  
be just too unnerving to have someone looking like the spitting image of her  
now that I know I will never see her again.  
  
Sweet, caring, good-natured Abby. Never far from a laugh even if it was at  
her own expense. And those eyes of hers that made everyone take an instant  
liking to her. The same eyes that made it impossiblle to lie to her convincingly, even if  
you were so inclined.  
  
Shit, shit, shit! Now I know why Jean doesn't like Rogue. Apart from the looks  
Abby and Rogue are very much alike. Okay, Jean never met Abby but her telepathy  
sure makes her very aware of how she was. Even more so when I first met Jean  
and Charles and didn't know how to shield my thoughts and feelings from them.  
  
I slowly rise from my bed and goes over to the drawer, retrieving a photo album  
from my younger days. This journey down memory lane has made me want to see  
Abby again, even if it's just in a photo.  
  
There she is. Looking just like I remember. To think that it's been years  
since I last took a look through this. Rather short, long black hair, blueish eyes  
full of enjoyment, a smile on her face and as always looking like she's about to make  
everyone around her enjoy life as much as possible.  
  
Like I said, a lot like Rogue and not at all like Jean.  
  
Which makes me misarble. Even if wanting to be involved with Rogue is what both  
she and I would want, what about Jean? I really don't want to hurt her if I can  
avoid it.  
  
Why must life be so complicated? 


	5. Chapter 5

Well, this will be a long night alright. I'm too wound up about everything to  
be able to sleep. The shock of having met my daughter for the first time,  
the fight with Jean and the realization that being with Rogue instead of  
with Jean is what I truly want. It all adds up to me being completely  
unable to sleep, just twisting and turning. Insomnia is nothing new  
to me but I thought I had left that little thing behind me years ago.  
  
Whenever that happened I usually walked aimlessly around the mansion and  
the mansion grounds. It didn't help me sleep but it did make sure that I  
wouldn't literally climb the walls.  
  
Back to old habits again. Well, out into the hallway and off you go Summers.  
  
I didn't go far though before I heard a cry of dismay and a lot of whimpering  
from one of the rooms. Rogue's room. I knew she had nightmares often but I  
didn't know how bad they were. Our rooms are too far apart for me to  
be able to hear her, and she's a brave one. Too brave perhaps but she won't  
bother anyone with her sleeping troubles if she can help it.  
  
This time she can't. I can't stand hearing her in pain like that and if it  
wasn't for the fact that Logan had saved her life at the same time he gave her his  
memories I would have put blasted him for putting her through this. But to be  
honest, he would probably hate himself if he knew what Rogue's going through  
thanks to him. Anyway, I sprint through the hallway towards her bedroom and  
bursts through the door. Subtlety isn't really my name when I want to help people  
I care about, but at this point I really don't care if I've woken half the  
mansion up. All that matters is making Rogue feel a little better.  
  
What I see when I enter her bedroom shocks me I must admit. I didn't even think it  
was possible to thrash around in one's bed like that without waking up. The look  
on her face is pure terror, as if she is trying to defend herself against some evil foe.  
Much the same way as Logan would have done it actually. If he had been the one  
thrashing around, the claws would be out by now. What do I do? Stupid question,  
Summers. Wake her up of course.  
  
But how? She's kicked her covers off while she was sleeping so she's in just her  
nightie. I can't just grab and shake or something like that. It wouldn't  
do neither her or I any good if she absorbs a lot of me. I know that she's  
learned to control her gift but I don't know if she has control over it in  
her sleep. And I'm only wearing a pair of sweat pants myself so not much  
covering on me either. That means too much exposed skin if her control's  
absent or if she slips.  
  
Damn. Then it hits me. Yeah, yeah. I'm slow at times. I grab the covers from the  
floor and use that as a shield, grabbing hold of her shoulders shaking her as gently  
as I can trying to get her to wake up.  
  
"Rogue? Please wake up. Wake up baby" Baby? Where did that come from? Doesn't matter now.  
What's important is to make her wake up. She's not responding though. Okay. I can't be  
gentle now, not if she's gonna wake up. I hope she won't hate me for this but I shake  
her as hard as I can.  
  
That did it. Somewhat. She's still a bit out of it and instinctively tries to defend  
herself. I manage to avoid her hands, just about, and grab her around the arms holding  
her still, talking to her.  
  
"Rogue? It's just me. No cause for alarm."  
  
She just looks at me without really seeing me for a few moments before she finally  
gets her senses in order.  
  
"Scott? What are you doing here?"  
"Well, I heard you were having a nightmare and came to wake you up. You okay?"  
"Yeah, I think so. Sorta."  
  
She looks so lost, confused and terribly scared despite her words that I do the only  
thing I can think of. I lay my arm around her, holding her tight trying to keep  
her or more accurately Logan's demons at bay. It must have been the right thing  
to do because she calms down considerably and burrows her face in my chest while  
holding on to me for dear life.  
  
Wwe just sit there for a while in each other's arms, comforting eachother. I don't  
think she realizes she's doing that to me but that's what she does. I'm comforting  
her over her nightmare and she's comforting me over how complicated my life's  
suddenly become.  
  
Then disaster strikes in the form of Jean. I completely forgot that the door  
was still open and that Jean were God knows where and here she is all of a sudden, walking  
past Rogue's door seeing us in a hug. She was jealous even before that and now she's pissed  
beyond belief. At first she only stares at us, looking like she's the one that can summon  
clouds of thunder instead of Ororo before she yells  
  
"I knew it! I thought you loved me Scott, and instead I find you here. In the bed  
of that...that...slut!"  
  
before she runs off again, slamming the door shut as hard as she can.  
  
Rogue just stares at the door in disbelief before she asks "What was that all  
about?"  
  
I can only sigh and say "You sure you wanna know?"  
  
She nods and I surprise myself and end up telling her everything about myself, Abby and  
Joanne. I'm not leaving anything out, not even how much she reminds me of Abby.  
  
She looks thoughtful after I'm through and curiosity gets the better of me. "Rogue?"  
"Huh?"  
"What are you thinking about?"  
"Oh, nothing much. Just thinking that it makes sense then."  
I'm lost. "What does?"  
"Well, if I'm so much alike her that kinda explains why you called me baby."  
"You heard that?" I say in shock. I thought she was sleeping.  
"No, but you accidently touched my skin when you tried to wake me up. Stop blushing  
already. I rather like to be called that. Especially by you."  
  
Huh? And I thought she was in love with Logan? Now what? I just know I'm gonna say  
the wrong the wrong thing here. 


	6. Chapter 6

Rogue's not the only one feeling lost, even if she seems to have gotten over it now.  
I am too but for a very different reason. No, lost isn't the word. Completely  
dazed, baffled and uncoherant is more like it.  
  
I simply just do not get it. Why would she be interested in me of all people? I Know  
what people say about me when I'm not around. You know, "Oh, Scott's a very good and  
reliable friend". The kind of reliable friend you wouldn't be caught dead with  
at a party since said friend has the reputation of beeing too boring and too uptight  
to even be invited there. Well, unless you want a party-pooper around that is. Oh, and  
the kinda guy that no woman within her right state of mind would want to be involved  
with, Jean and Abby being the exceptions. I know I'm not like that but it's the image  
I have. In a way I've only myself to blame but I needed that image when I first became  
a teacher here or the students wouldn't take me seriously. Or that's what I told  
myself and it seemed to be working. Bobby didn't pull as many pranks in my classes  
as he did in Jean's or Ororo's anyway but boy would he have been surprised if he  
had known that I had a reputation as a prankster when I was in high-school!  
  
Where was I? I lost my train of thought somewhere. Oh, yeah. Why would Rogue be  
interested in me? Apart from what I already said, there's Jean too. Since Rogue  
first came here, I've been with Jean. Why would she be interested in an engaged  
man? And where does Logan fit into all of this?  
  
  
I must have mulled it over for too long though because the next thing I know is  
seeing Rogue waving her hands infront of my eyes saying "Earth to Scott. Do you  
copy?" with laughter in her voice and eyes.  
  
"Sorry. I got lost in thought there for a while."  
"Over what?"  
  
What do I answer to that? Well, I don't need to think that through much because my mouth  
goes wandering off on its own.  
  
"Well, you. And what you just said. I was kinda wondering why you said what you just did."  
"Why didn't you just ask then, silly. Because I like you of course. Why else would I say  
it?"  
"But...but...I thought you wanted Logan". Really smooth Summers.  
  
She just smiles before answering. "I did too. For awhile, but it never would have worked  
out no matter if he would have wanted that too or not. He's too restless to stay in one  
place or in one relationship for long and that's really not what I want, you know? And  
even if it had been, it's too late for that now anyway. He's not coming back. I know  
him, probably better than he knows himself and I'm quite sure about that even if he  
tried to tell me that he would. Just a lie. A lie he believed in himself. I'm  
babbling, ain't I?" She laughed out at that and I could only smile back, relieved that  
she was so honest with me and more importantly, to herself.  
  
"But why me? There's plenty of guys around here like Remy, Bobby, Warren or John. Why the  
guy with the reputation of being a bore?"  
"They're not you. Easy as that, and we're friends already so I know you. You're not a bore.  
A bit too unsure of yourself perhaps. So what do you say, wanna take a chance on me?" she  
says before leaning over, giving me a kiss and the surprise of my life!  
  
"I would, I mean I want, I. Ah, forget it. Yes will do. But you're forgetting Jean, Rogue."  
"Marie. And what about Jean?"  
  
Marie. I never knew her name before. Marie kinda fits her.  
  
"Well, I am engaged to her."  
"Yeah, but you don't really want to be with her anymore do you? You said so a few minutes  
ago and well, I can see through you in that matter. You haven't in a long time, have you?  
Even before I knew you. You may have fooled yourself before but I won't let you. You will  
never be happy if you cling too something just out of familiarity, and neither will Jean. Or  
me."  
  
"Well, you're right. But I still don't wanna hurt her."  
"I'm sorry and I don't want to sound cold, but you already have done that. I know you didn't mean  
too but she's already hurting."  
  
I can only sigh because I know all too well that she's right. "I know"  
  
"So what are you gonna do?"  
"I wish I knew." 


	7. Chapter 7

Several hours later and I still don't know what to do. I glance at the clock and see that it's 3 a.m. Damn, and  
I'm supposed to be up and about in a few hours.  
  
To be honest, I'm not even sure how I made myself back to the room Jean and I are sharing. I gave Marie  
a goodnight kiss and went back here but how long ago is that? One hour? Two? I have no idea.  
  
For now this is our room anyway. If there's one thing I know, it's that I must break up with Jean  
somehow but without hurting her more than she's already hurting.  
  
How the hell am I supposed to do that? I can't really say "Hey Jean, I'm sorry but could you please  
move to an empty room because Rogue's gonna take your place here" can I? No. I wouldn't do that  
even if I hated her guts. Which I don't. She's a good woman and I'm sure there's someone out there  
somewhere that will make both her and him very happy one day. A man with more in common with Jean than I  
have.  
  
It's funny really. I always thought that I would be more distressed and upset over the thought of  
Jean being with someone that's not me. But I'm not. I wonder why but I guess it's natures way  
of telling me it wasn't meant to be.  
  
But I can't seem to make up my mind over how to end things between us. We've been together for far  
too long for it to be easy. Or easier is maybe a better word. It's never easy to break up.  
  
Hah! I make it really sound like I have the record in broken relationships really, when I have  
never been with anyone but Jean and Abby.  
  
Two relationships. Ironic really that the one I loved ended up hurting me so badly and now I  
seem to be doing the same thing to Jean, neither wanting to hurt the other one but it happened  
just the same. Will it be the same if or when Marie and I would end up being together? Who  
knows?  
  
God, when did I become this pessimistic?  
  
Jean, Abby, Marie and Joanne. Important people in my life, all of them. Abby for being the  
first true love of my life and being the mother of my daughter. Joanne for being my  
daughter. True, I don't know her that well yet or she me but I think and hope we will be  
able to have a good relationship in time, even if it may never be a true father/daughter  
one. Jean because of the love we used to share, despite our differences, and that she  
was the first woman I didn't need to hide my mutation from. And Marie, since I want to  
think of her as my future.  
  
Anyway, Jean's been too an important part of my life for the last few years for me to be able to  
end it just like that. It would be just cruel. I may be many things but cruel's not amongst  
them.  
  
So what do I do about it? Nothing it seems, except for repeating those arguments ad nauseum.  
That won't do anyone any good will it? No, not at all.  
  
  
Somewhat later I was finally able to fall asleep. Or more to the truth - too exhausted both  
mentally and physically to stay awake any longer. There's a limit in how much a man can take  
and I had finally reached it.  
  
  
When I woke up later on, I did what I usually do in the mornings. Instinctively reach for the  
alarm clock. This time for no use though since it's not ringing. But it does show me that I've  
overslept. Good thing it's Saturday so I don't have any classes to teach.  
  
That's when I notice it. There's a note next to the alarm-clock. I take it and starts to  
read:  
  
"Scott,  
  
I'm so sorry I have to do it this way. Please don't hate me, but it just kills  
me to see your daughter around here. Your daughter and the attachment that the both  
of you have towards Rogue.  
  
I know it's petty of me but it's just the way I am. I may be able to deal with  
it someday but not now. Right now it hurts too much to see that you care more  
about your daughter and Rogue than you care about me, no matter if I'm right  
or wrong.  
  
That's why I need to leave this place for awhile. I don't know for how long  
just yet but I do know that I will one day return. The day when I've gotten  
over the fact that you never really loved me, even though you thought you  
did. I have no doubt about that.  
  
I'm really sorry that I over-reacted last night when I saw you with Rogue,  
and what I said. Both then and when I heard that Joanne was coming here.  
  
I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, not for you and not for me  
but I say this with the deepest sincerity,  
  
Do what you feel you have to do to be happy. With Joanne, your life at the mansion  
and with Rogue if she's the one you truly love.  
  
I would have felt much better if you would have wanted to build a life together  
with me but fate didn't want it that way. Just so you know, I'm not bitter about  
it. It's just too much to handle at this time. One day I will be, or so I tell myself.  
  
This is getting too long so I will end it now and will just say,  
  
Be happy for you and for me, until we meet again.  
  
Love,  
  
Jean (p.s. Say good-bye to everyone for me)  
  
  
I need to sit down. For a long time. This is just too much. I'm overwhelmed.  
I've known Jean for quite some time now and she still has the ability to  
surprise me. This was the last thing I would have expected her to do. Not  
the running part. That I can understand, it's probably what I would have done  
myself if I had been in her shoes.  
  
The fact that she gave me the blessings to go ahead to pursue a relationship  
with Rogue is a shock though. I was pretty damn sure Jean wouldn't take a  
defeat this easily, I thought she would have fought something fierce.  
  
But maybe she did in her own way and I was just too stupid to see it. I don't  
know and maybe I never will.  
  
I open a drawer in the bedside table to put away the note, a note I will always try  
to keep safe, when I see it.  
  
She gave me the engagement ring back too. I can understand why, but I really wish she  
would have kept that one. As a memory if nothing else. When it's not too painful anymore.  
  
Well, I'll keep it safe for her if she ever wants it back. Whenever she's gotten  
some perspective on things she might want to.  
  
But this leaves me with another predicament: how do I tell Charles and all the others  
of this? 


	8. Chapter 8

Deja Vu  
  
That was what I felt. There's just no other words to describe it. Lost and lost again.  
That and very indecisive. What would I tell Charles?  
  
Never has the nickname "Fearless leader" felt less appropiate. A leader can't  
be indescisive, that's a lesson both life and Charles have taught me time and time  
again and I most certainly don't feel fearless either, which makes it all the more  
absurd.  
  
I have nothing to fear from Charles, that I do know from the very bottom of my heart. He's  
like a father to me for crying out loud, not to mention mentor and a very dear friend  
even if I have a problem expressing the last thing to him in the right way. It's sorta  
hard to express friendship to one you respect as much as I respect him.  
  
No reason and yet it feels like it did when I got caught shoplifting back as a kid and  
was waiting for my parents to show up at the store with the mother of all disappointed looks  
on their faces.  
  
Like I said, very silly indeed.  
  
Well, no point in staying in here hiding is there Summers? Whatever happens happens and  
it won't get any easier the longer I try to stall things. Just grab the bull by the horns.  
  
I left my room and almost instantly bumped into Marie and Joanne. They were just outside  
the room in fact and I almost hit Joanne with the door by accident.  
  
"Hi, Scott" Marie said, "Joanne and I was just gonna ask you if you wanna join us for  
breakfast?"  
  
Normally, I would have jumped with joy over such an idea. Who wouldn't wanna spend as  
much time as possible with his daughter and a beutiful woman like Marie? The timing  
couldn't be worse though because right now I really need to talk with Charles. Immediately  
or I will surely lose my nerve.  
  
"If you don't mind having a late breakfast, I'd love to. I do need to talk to the  
Professor first though."  
"Something the matter?"  
"You could say that. Jean's left."  
"Left? What on earth are you talkin' about sugar? Where is she?"  
  
Sugar? Is that some southern endearment? No idea but I love the sound of it.  
  
"I have no idea where she is. She just a left a note saying she had to leave  
the Mansion for awhile."  
"Go on then. Joanne and I will wait for you and after breakfast we'll have some  
quality time together, right sweetie?"  
"Yeah. Just hurry! I'm starving!"  
"In that case, go ahead without me. Wouldn't want a sweet girl like you go starving  
now would I?" I answer before giving Joanne a kiss on her forehead.  
  
They both just smiled and pushed me on my way, pleading with me to hurry up.  
  
And who am I to turn down that, even if I wanted to? Just not possible, let me  
tell you.  
  
  
  
I quickly make myself to the Professors office, knowing that he will be in there already.  
He's much more a creature of habit than I am, and they call me the one with the pole  
up his ass. I knock on the door and surely enough I hear Charles answer with "Come in  
Scott" mere seconds after.  
  
"Here goes nothing" I have time to think before I enter his office.  
  
"Good morning Scott. Can I offer you some tea?"  
"No thank you. I need to talk to you about something."  
  
He looks up and manuevers his wheelchair so he comes closer to me.  
  
"About what? By the look on your face it seems like it's something grave."  
  
I hesistate and sorta stumble over the words. "Well, you see..it's ah" then I stop,  
don't really knowing what to say.  
  
"Scott?"  
  
Oh, to hell with it. "Well, Jean's left the mansion. I don't know if you knew that or not."  
  
He looks shocked so no, he didn't know. "Left? Why on earth would she do that?"  
  
What do I say? What do I say? "Eh, well. She sorta couldn't handle me suddenly  
having a daughter here and was um, thinking I was cheating on her with Rogue. Said  
she couldn't handle that I had never really loved her. She broke of the engagement  
and well, ran away."  
  
Charles just sighs. "Well, was she right?"  
"No. You know I would never cheat on her and well, I did love her. At least I thought  
I did but it just wasn't there anymore."  
"And Rogue?"  
"What about her?"  
"Well, I can sense that there's more than friendship between the two of  
you. Isn't there?"  
  
I could have sworn I saw a smirk there.  
  
"No point in denying that."  
"So, she's your new girlfriend is she?"  
"No, at least not yet. Why are you suddenly so interested in my love life?"  
  
Now there definately was a smirk there. "Come on Scott. The only reason you've been  
hesistant in telling me all of this is that you're afraid that I would be judgemental  
in one way or the other. Perhaps by telling you that you haven't handled things as  
smoothly as you could have or that by starting to date Rogue you would have made  
a mistake or that she's too young."  
  
Is he right? Hm, maybe that was what I was afraid of. Damn, I've been acting like  
a love-struck 14-year old. "No offense Charles, but you can be rather intimidating  
without meaning too".  
  
"None taken" he said, smiling, before continueing "Neither you, Jean or  
Rogue have done anything wrong here. You can't rule over what your heart tells  
you, can you? I'm sure Jean will get over this eventually, she's a strong woman.  
I'll try to get in touch with her, telling her we all understand and hope that she  
returns soon. Now, go out and have that breakfast with your family you've put off  
for far enough. And don't you try to deny it. You're projecting that feeling too  
strongly for me to misread it."  
  
Family? Well, the family I want to have anyway. And the family I'm gonna fight for if I  
have to. 


	9. Chapter 9

I leave Charles' office with a heavy weight lifted of my chest. I still don't really understand  
why I was so hesistant to tell him but at least now it's all behind me and hopefully he will be  
able to get ahold of Jean. No matter how badly I've handled this and how things have changed, this is  
where she belongs and I know I'll miss her if she doesn't come back. She said she would be back eventually  
but who knows, she might change her mind.  
  
I take a look at my watch and realize I was talking to Charles for longer than I first  
thought. Wonder where Marie and Joanne might be?  
  
Let's see. In the dining-hall? Well, we said we were going to have breakfast. But no, no  
sign of them there. Not in Marie's room either, or in Joanne's for that matter.  
  
Well, I will have to ask someone then. Kitty's the most likely to know, if she's awake  
that is. That girl could sleep through an earth-quake.  
  
I knock on her door and ask "Kitty? You awake?" at the same time just to be greeted  
with a sleepy "Yeah, come in". I'm a bit surprised at that. If it wasn't for her  
school-work I'm sure she could sleep until noon or more without trouble. She's  
too ambitious for her own good and studying for as far into the night that she's  
prone to do can't be healthy. I know both Charles and Jean has in the past tried  
to make her go to bed earlier but it hasn't helped much. For a few days she gets  
to bed before midnight but then she's back to her old behaviour again.  
  
I enter her room and well, she's awake but not much more. She's still under her  
covers, desperately trying to invite sleep to come back.  
  
"Kitty?"  
"Yeah, yeah. What is it? Let me sleep!" she almost cries, hiding her face in the pillow.  
"I will, but have you seen Rogue?"  
"Why do you think I'm awake for? She had to come and wake me up, for some bizarre reason  
no one could possibly dare to wake me up for. Sigh. She proved me wrong."  
"So, do you know where she is?"  
"She said something about showing the lake to your daughter."  
"Thanks Kitty. Sweet dreams now, and don't be too late for dinner."  
"Smart-ass".  
  
I leave Kitty's room, and I think she's started snoring already, and head for the  
lake.  
  
Sure, there they are. If it wasn't for the fact that it is October I'm sure they  
would have been swimming by now but they seem to enjoy themselves anyway. Just  
by being close to the beautiful lake and having some companionship perhaps.  
  
Marie spots me almost immediately and grabs Joanne by the hand, coming towards  
me.  
  
"Hey, you ready for that breakfast now?" She stops and corrects herself "Well,  
make that a brunch."  
"I certainly am but you really shouldn't have waited for me."  
"Well, we didn't. We've had an apple and a sandwich to suppress the urge to eat  
like pigs at the table."  
  
I can't help but laugh at that. "That makes it all better huh? Well, let's go eat  
like pigs then. What do you say Joanne?"  
"Yay!" is all she says, or squeals, before she runs off towards the mansion as if  
the kitchen would run away from her.  
  
"She must have gotten all that excitement and enjoyment from her mother" I say, mostly  
to myself.  
"Nah. I don't think so. You're just better than most at controling yourself."  
"You think so?"  
"No, I know so." She laughs silently before continueing "Actually, I think you're too  
much in control of yourself and the people in my head agree so you're outvoted."  
"Am I that such of a stiff?"  
"No. I don't think so. Logan and Magneto disagree on that though. It's just that well,  
you have to be in control of yourself more than most. Much like I had to be before I  
could control my skin. If you didn't have to be like that I'm certain you would be  
more comfortable in letting loose around people you don't know that well. Around me,  
you've never been a stiff or uncomfortable, not even back when I could have killed you  
accidently. You were just being the kind and caring Scott I've grown to like, not  
Cyclops the fearless leader."  
  
I don't know what to say to that and I actually think I blushed. But she continues  
as if that hadn't happened "What do you say? Let's run after your lovely daughter."  
and off she runs. With me hot on her trail.  
  
"About you two lazy buns showed up!" Joanne says when we arrive back at the mansion.  
"Sorry, hon. Let's just go grab some grub then."  
"About time!"  
  
I'm not surprised to find out that the three of us are all alone in the dining-hall at this  
time of the morning but I'm not complaining. Anyway, we all go to pick up some of this  
and some of that compiling our own special breakfast. Myself, I'm partial to just a  
bowl of cereal and a glass of orange-juice at breakfast but the other two eat of  
just about everything like this was to be their final meal.  
  
We eat away and at the same time we're talking about this and that, making it a very  
special breakfast indeed. It somehow feels like the kind of breakfast a real family  
should have, even if we're not that.  
  
Then I hear someone. "Hi Scott. Long time no see."  
  
Hank? It's been some years since he was last here. He's been off persuing his  
academic career for at least 3 years now.  
  
And to be blunt, his timing could have been a lot better. I know he didn't mean  
it - he's way too kind for that. It's just that his appearance can be scary and  
to a kid not yet 10 years old?  
  
Let's just say that Joanne just screamed in terror and ran away with tears running  
down her cheeks.  
  
"Joanne! Come back, please." I scream after her before I dart off hearing Hank  
behind me "Scott! You know I didn't mean to scare her."  
  
Yeah, I know that. He wouldn't do that to anyone but right now I can't think of  
Hank's feelings. I must find Joanne first. 


	10. Chapter 10

I'm really, really stupid with a capital S. I should have seen this coming a mile away,  
I really should have. This is a school for mutants for crying out loud! It was just a matter  
of time until something like this would happen.  
  
Hank was a bit of a surprise for me too but that's nothing compared to what he was to Joanne,  
and even if he hadn't come back for this surprise visit he's not the only one with such  
a distinctive look.  
  
What about Warren, Kurt, Sarah or even Bobby clothed in ice. Nothing Joanne in all likelyhood  
has ever seen. Or even something even remotely like it. She may have run across some mutants  
without knowing it but those with physical mutations are not as common.  
  
Oh well. I can blame myself later though and maybe I will even have more reason to do so  
then if I don't handle this properly. I may have handled the Jean situation wrong  
but I refuse to do this the wrong way. First things first. Which is finding Joanne,  
trying to calm her down and explain some things to her.  
  
My instincts tells me has run for either her room or back to the lake. I take a chance and  
run up to her room, which is completely deserted as it turns out. A bad choice. Down again.  
  
Hank's down at the bottom of the stairs, looking utterly miserable and as if he wants  
to jump down the nearest black hole.  
  
"Scott, I'm so sorry."  
"Not now Hank. I know you didn't mean too but right now I have to find her, and then  
you'll hopefully get the time to make it up to her."  
"I understand."  
  
I knew he would and I hope I can help Joanne not fear of him. It's really not fair  
that someone as kind, gently and loving as Hank should be trapped in a body that makes  
people instinctively fear him, as if he's going to have them for breakfast or  
something. Nothing to be done about that I'm afraid, but I have to admire his guts  
for living among non-mutants for long despite his mutation. It can't have been  
easy.  
  
Anyway, I found Joanne near the lake, crouched under a tree, eyes cast to the ground.  
  
"Joanne?"  
"Yeah?" she says, but still not lifting her head to look at me.  
"How you're doing?"  
  
She's not answering.  
  
"Well, let me guess then. Hank scared you didn't he?"  
"Hank?"  
"Yeah, the guy in blue fur."  
"Well, eh, yeah he did. He was so big! And he looked like he could beat everyone  
up. He sorta looked like a bear."  
"Think of him as our own private teddy bear. Yeah, he can probably beat most people  
up if he needs to protect himself, or people he love but he's also the best friend you  
could possibly have. He's not dangerous at all."  
"I'm sorry."  
"What for?"  
"For running away."  
"Don't be. It has happened before, but try to be nice to Hank okay?"  
"I will try."  
"That's a girl. And now I have to say I'm sorry too."  
  
How do I explain all of this? She just looks at me with curiosity evident in her eyes.  
Here goes.  
  
"Well, you see. I should have expected something like this to happen eventually. I  
didn't know exactly how to tell you so I guess I was delaying it for as long as I  
could so I could tell you as we went along. But I didn't know Hank was coming home  
so scratch that stupid idea. You know this is a school."  
  
I stop momentarily to collect my thoughts, and she's nodding as if I had asked her  
a question.  
  
"Not just any school though. Everyone that lives here is a little different than  
the people you're used to knowing."  
  
Do kids her age know of mutants at all? And what did Abby tell her?  
  
Better just ask I guess.  
  
"Do you know what a mutant is?"  
  
She just nods.  
  
"Well, everyone here is a mutant with some special ability or power that makes  
us a little different. On Hank and a few others it shows, like a guy that can  
fly with these giant wings he has on his back. But everyone here is one, no  
matter if it shows or not. And we're just like you, your mom or your friends  
in every other way."  
  
"What can you do that I can't?"  
  
She's more mature than I would have guessed, or is it just a child's natural  
curiosity and willingness to learn?  
  
"Well, I can show you." I say as I pick up a coin from my pocket, "Watch this" I  
say and toss it up into the air and mostly by instinct I lift my glasses and look  
at the coin. The red beam immediately drills a hole through the center of the coin.  
  
"Wow!"  
"Pretty impressive huh?"  
"Yeah! Can everyone here do something like that?"  
"More or less. Everyone has different things they can do but everyone has  
something. Hank looks the way he does plus he could win every gymnastic  
competition there is without even trying. You'll see what the others can  
do later I'm sure. So what do you say, shall we head back to Marie and  
continue our breakfast?"  
"Yeah!" she says, dragging me by the hand toward the mansion.  
  
It seems I handled this little trauma good but this instant fatherhood is going to  
be harder than I imagined.  
  
"Dad?" she says when we're almost halfway back. Dad? Don't know when she felt  
comfortable enough to start calling me that but I'm not complaining. Far from  
it. Very heartwarming in fact.  
  
"Yeah, sweetie?"  
"What can Marie do?"  
"Well, she could just touch your skin and instantly know everything you've ever  
known and been able to do if she wants to do that. When she doesn't want to do that,  
which is all the time, she's just as you. She would also hurt you at the same time if  
she wanted to do it unfortunately and we don't want that do we?"  
"No."  
"Let's hurry back then so she don't get pissed of" I say, making sure she knows I'm joking. 


End file.
